So today’s been one of the better Sunday’s I’ve had thus far this semester. Church was fine. The sermon today was on David. We’re doing a sermon serious on him. Today we looked at 1 Samuel 21 and Psalm 34. One of the interesting things to see was that Psalm 34 was written about the time when David was experiencing the things talked about in 1 Sam. 21. Unfortunately, I oft found myself distracted this morning and failed to catch some of the sermons main points.
One of the things I did catch was the occurance of the word righteous in the psalm. Verse 15: “The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.” My pastor made the point that it’s the righteous people in this passage that God is listening to and rescuing. And the only way we’re righteous is through Christ’s blood.
This evening after church, nap, phone call from mom, talking briefly with Cora, and dinner (yes, that’s all I did till 5PM), I got to spend some time hanging out with God. A couple of books I’m reading right now and enjoying are “Children of the Living God” by Sinclair B. Ferguson and “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge.
*Highlights from “Children of the Living God” Chapter 2*
• talking about John 1:12-13- “Moreover we can become his children only by the decision of God’s will. The new birth of which John speaks here and elsewhere is not ours by nature, nor is it within our natural powers to accomplish! Not only is this devasating to human pride, but it also underlines the spiritual peril of our natural condition.”
• in the conclusion of the chapter, he’s discussing regeneration and new birth in Christ - “God alone is able to bring us to new birth, through the Spirit. He does so through the power of Christ’s resurrection from the dead (1 Peter 1:3). … Jesus Christ speaks into the death or our hearts, calls us by name, and we respond (Jn. 5:25; 10:3). As at the first creation, so in the new creation God breathes on us with his Spirit, and we are brought into new life. Regeneration is a sovereign act of God.”
Tasty Morsels of Goodness from “Wild at Heart” Chapter 3
• “For after years of living in a cage, a lion no longer even believes it is a lion . . . and a man no longer believes he is a man.”
• “Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a facade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise.” In this section of the chapter, he’s discussing how like Adam hid when he saw his own nakedness, men are hiding as well. “We are hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we were meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have run off into the bushes. We hide in our office, at the gym, behind the newspaper and mostly behind our personality.” I don’t know about the other men out there reading this (or the women that have evidenced our behaviour), but I totally feel like this.
In recent weeks especially I’ve been afraid of my future, felt lonely and incapable of accomplishing the things set before me. It’s so not true though! Lies — all of it, lies. Instead of facing reality in light of my relationship with God as his son, I spent many hours of many days hiding in fear. I mean this literally as much as emotionally and spiritually to an extent. Lonely hours watching episodes of Scrubs _en masse_ on my computer. Staying up late into the night listening to music, scrounging the web for new music. These things are a huge part of why my computer is now packed up and sitting in my closet. (Yes, I’m down in the lab typing this up.)
So what’s changed in my life between now and a week ago? As far as my standing with God, nothing has changed. I am no less and no more his son this week than I was last week, but I’m trying to remember my true identity (son of God, not son of Sin or son of Death) and live out of it instead of living out of fear.