I feel as if I comment less and less frequently about the real occurrences of my life on here. Why? I’m not entirely sure. Often, I post interesting things I find online. I like doing that. I enjoy it when people enjoy the things I’ve found. However, there’s a greater purpose to this blog than those things. What is it?

Blabbing about things I do? Sure, sometimes. “I saw Matrix Revolutions today.” Yay. Fine and good. What does that tell you ? It tells you I saw a movie, maybe even why I saw it, and what I think of it.

What’s really going on though? Yes, real things happen to me. Notice: I am a person. I am alive. I do more than blog.

I wish I could convey here all the things in my life I value. I wish I could show you each cubic inch of the terrain: the mountain-top views of the world, the rivlets cut into the surface by wounds and worries, and those moments where I’m side-swiped by elephant-sized frustrations. I think part of why I haven’t been posting as much lately is because I don’t feel adequate to convey these things. (But obviously, in such a public setting as a blog, I won’t say _everything_ that’s going on in my life.)

Something I’m thinking about. *End Rant.*

One of the biggest things I’m being hit by lately is the future. Questions such as “When will I graduate?” “What will I do when I graduate?” No answers, just questions so far. Last night I decided I’d graduate in the summer, but then I found out it doesn’t work out perfectly. The class I want isn’t offered in the first five week summer session. It’s offered in two sections in two classrooms in the same building at the same time in the second five week session. Go figure. Maybe it’s a typo. Whatever. In any case, “there goes that plan.” I think I’ll try to survive the 18 credit gauntlet.

Then what? Who knows. I’ve felt rather calloused for the last few days and without proper perspective to make any decisions in that direction.

Jeremiah 29:11 - “I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD. Plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

It’s a matter of trust. Some changes will be happening this week. A new offensive is beginning. I’ll be getting a phone call every morning at 9AM to wake me up, give me a verse, and start my day off right. Tomorrow is the first day.

People say selling out is bad. I say that’s true, but only in general. If you’re selling out to pop culture, you’re abandoning the fanbase that established you. If you’re selling out to your job (workaholic), you’re abandoning the other people (if any) in your life.

If you’re selling out to God, you’re not missing out on anything.

Philippians 4:19 - “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:32 - “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”

Tags: Bible, rant

Highlite: Romans 4, Dinner at Tracy’s
Lowlite: twinge of tiredness, sore tendons

It’s been a splendid day. Only one class today do to cancelation of the other. In the class I did have, the professor unexpectedly provided a guest speaker due to his absence. Oh, the United Nations… what a tangled yet oddly tantalizing organization. Idealism wrapped around humanism and political maneuvering. Some noble goals, but I think it fails to live up to any higher purpose due to negligance of The Absolute.

I bought a few poetry books today. I’ve got a few which I’ve largely been forced to buy for poetry classes. Two of the books I bought today serve the same purpose, yet I got to choose myself. I purchased a T.S. Elliot book as well. Talented and includes aspects of Christianity in his works. I glanced through a few of the poems and look forward to seeing more.

Dinner happened at Tracy’s apartment tonight. Yay for Tracy’s pasta and Bunny Track’s ice cream! Seriously. Good stuff. I enjoyed seeing my friends there and wish the time lasted longer.

Romans 4 was our Bible study this week. It reveals an amazing amount of things about faith especially when viewed as part of the overall argument Paul is building in Romans. Interesting crossreferences and tangents include Hebrews 11, I John 4, and Genesis 15.

Tags: Bible, T.S. Elliot, Tracy

Jason Wall has an excellent article about love and pride, and the semantics of these and related terms. He provides a good analysis of related problems and gives lots of scripture to back up his points.

The first sin was pride and it led to the first lie ever told. My pastor once told me that at the root of every problem you will find a lie. To overcome those problems you have to find the lie and establish in your heart, not just in your mind, the truth. This is why Paul exhorts us to think of things that are true.

Tags: Bible, Jason Wall

Behold, I am now a man. Not only did I turn 21 on Friday, February 21, 2003 (my “golden birthday,” as I’ve been told), but I also attended a Navigators conference which lasted Friday night till Saturday night, and then I attended a concert.

Friday was just your typical ordinary day. The weather was actually decent, which made it quite a nice day for a birthday. Class went fine, I took care of some minute details (buying a new parking permit, yada yada). I got two packages in the mail. One was a book called “Every Woman’s Desire.” My cousin Mandy sent that to me ’cause I asked for it. The other package was from my family. This is the third year in a row where I’ve gotten a birthday cake mailed to me from my family in Colorado to me here at school in Nebraska. Exciting stuff! I got the new Blindside CD, money to order MT Volume 1, a tie tack, a shirt, a couple knick-knacks from Knottsberry Farm, and two birthday cards. Good stuff!

Later Friday went to Arby’s for dinner and got a slice of cake from a couple cool ladies. After that was ManMaker. It’s an annual men’s retreat put on by Navs and this year it was also done in conjunction with the UNL Campus Crusade for Christ group. This dude named Wayne talked to us three times. The first talk was about growing in belief of God’s love. The oft-quoted verse John 3:16 was referenced: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” A few points about this talk really stood out to me and are included at the end of this post.

After ManMaker ended on Saturday night (we actually left a little before the end), myself, Phil and Aaron B., and Scott (freshman connection) went to a concert that was part of an event called “Dare 2 Share” where kids are encouraged to evangelize and they go out into town and share the gospel of Christ with people. Anyway, got to hear some really awesome bands. Sanctus Real started off. They only played a couple songs, but one of them is doing decently on the Christian rock charts, so I enjoyed it. They were followed by John Reuben, a rapper. His music was decent, but the performance wasn’t all that exciting. Next came Pillar. These guys can rock like crazy! They played several songs. Most were from their most recent album “Fireproof” but they also played a few from their original, self-titled album. Relient K played after that. I really like Relient K. They played “Pressing On,” a short parody/cover of “Sk8r Boi” by Avril Lavigne talking about John Reuben, a short cover of part of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” After that, they got back on track with “Softer To Me,” “For The Moments I Feel Faint,” and one of my favorites, “Sadie Hawkins Dance.” Do /you/ like my sweater?

After the concert, I was worn out. We helped take down a lot of the sound, video, and lighting equiptment in the auditorium. There were tons of professional guys there, but we volunteered to assist. They even gave each of us a T-shirt for helping out. Woohoo! (I found some Skittles backstage [it's a Relient K thing... I guess they like ‘em] and gave those to this kool friend of mine who likes Relient K.)

So that was most of my weekend. I’ve got a little bit of homework to do today. Mostly I’m gonna chill out. Latez!

What ManMaker was all about:
• My feelings cannot negate God’s truth or his love for me
• God doesn’t need my efforts (I could explain this more, but won’t for now)
• God wants me to enjoy his love

Romans 5:8 - “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Even as sinners, God is capable of loving and forgiving.

Wayne’s next talk focused on victory over sin.

• Sin has no power over those who have faith in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57 - “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”)
• 2 Corinthians 2:16 - “‘For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?’ But we have the mind of Christ.”
• Ephesians 1:3 - “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,”…
• Ephesians 2:6 - “and [God] raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,”…

A few other noteable thoughts I wrote down are the following:
• flesh cannot defeat the flesh
• I am already victorious in Christ
• Do I see myself as God does?
• Am I living out of gratitude to Christ?
• every man struggles with sexual sin

Wayne’s last talk talked about leadership. He talked about six different leadership attributes:
• humility
• faithfullness
• secret life
• sovereignty
• authenticity
• taking ownership (recognizing strengths and weaknesses)

So this is all the stuff. If you’ve got questions for any reason, feel free to leave a post or email me.

Tags: Arby's, Bible, birthday, family, Mandy, Navigators, Pillar, Relient K

Today is the 14^th of February, and we all know what that means. Valentine’s Day! Despite the usual connotations of the day for a single man in this country (such as loneliness, depression, and perhaps more loneliness), I’ve had a nice day. My friend Phil and I conspired and got roses for a few wonderful ladies. It was a lot of fun delivering those and seeing the girl’s reactions. I really enjoyed it.

Tonight is Java Love. We’re heading out to the East Campus Union and going to listen to a few singles, a couple, and a long-time married couple talk about Godly relationships. Afterwards, there is a dance. It was mostly fun last year, although I think I skipped out on most of the dance in order to drive away with some chairs.

The following are a couple of my favorite Bible passages related to love:

1 John 4:7-12
God Is Love

⁷Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. ¹⁰In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹²No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

1 Corinthians 13
The Way of Love

¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. ¹¹When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. ¹²For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

¹³So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Tags: Bible, Phil, Valentine's Day