The roller coaster is beginning in earnest now. I’ve been posting vague status updates all over the place and that’s about the best I can do here, too, unfortunately. Let’s just say… life is about to get really interesting and possibly really difficult.
Where will I be four months from now?
I don’t know.
I’m looking for my voice. I seem to have lost it somewhere along the way.
Today I named the emo bear on my t-shirt. His name is Shane. He weeps during sad songs and movies. Dr. Horrible made him sad. Now he’s watching an old Green Day music video – “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” Explosions kill people as he watches. He wonders when it will end.
I began making a list of goals for 2009. I am having a hard time with them. Constraints: economy, vacation time, fear, lack of fellow travelers.
Translation: I see human drama unfold around me, men and women’s lives crash together and separate again, and I wish I could feel the pleasure and the pain so long as I’m feeling more than alone.
Secondhand Serenade has the same flavor of music as Dashboard Confessional. A man, a guitar, and problems. I’ve been enjoying it. Fortunately, I haven’t been subjugated to any airing it may or may not have had on MTV, but it’s good. It’s catchy. It fits me.
Familiarity.
“A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it’s too late now.” – Goldfinger – Counting the Days
9861. Days alive.
~3200. Days since graduating high school.
1651. Days since graduating college.
1494. Consecutive days of singleness.
782. Days sober.
145. Days since starting my job.
131. Days without a haircut.
51. Days without shaving.
1. Days until 27.
These are the days of my life. What are yours?
(Hint: use the date duration calculator.)
Hesitance kills ideas. It kills progress. It kills momentum.
Hesitance kills your dreams.
If you constantly worship at the altar of hesitation, you forfeit.
I want to discuss many things with you, oh my faithful blog readers. The very nature of the topics I want to discuss make them difficult to bring up.
How do you discuss Trust and continue trusting people when somebody you once called “friend” breaks the trust you had and throws your darkest secrets at you like daggers?
How do you discuss guilt when you try to ignore the source of the guilt? It’s easy to lie to yourself and pretend it’s easily ignored. It’s not easy to ignore.
One group of verses I looked at earlier today was the following. Specifically, it’s discussing people who were Christians, but fell away from the teachings of God and no longer live according to the commandments God set forth in his Word (the Bible).
2 John 1:9-11:
“Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.”
Another set of verses addresses the importance of Christians seeking fellowship (time spent together sharing life and truth) with each other. It’s something I’ve been ignoring the last few months for a variety of reasons, but aim to change.
Hebrews 10:24 – 25:
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”