This last 24 hours has been the Spring 2004 LESTER Retreat. (LESTER is the Navigator’s student leadership team.) I had a good time on the retreat. My emotions went up and down and up and… through the time, but overall I’d say it was a positive experience. I’ve decided that a lot of the things that’ve been frustrating me lately (lack of discipline, motivation, enthusiasm, etc.) are all rooted in a false perception of God and subsequently myself. Verses like this:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” — Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)

This verse is true. But I haven’t been believing this. Sometimes the distance between the head and the heart seems wider than the red sea. It’s not impossible to overcome the distance and difficulties though. I was reading in Proverbs 2 during some time with God I had today on the retreat. The following is verses 1 to 5, but read the rest of the chapter if you want to get the most out of my following thoughts.

My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

What I saw in this is that if I’m listening to God and inclining my _heart_ to understanding, then I will understand the fear of the LORD and find some real knowledge. The results of such a belief are evident further down in the passage. Verse 10 – “…wisdom will come into your heart…”.

Some Results
• understanding (fear of the LORD, righteousness and justice)
• wisdom
• delivery from evil, from “men of perverted speech”
• delivery from the “forbidden woman”

Okay, the forbidden woman is an interesting thing to think about. This woman, this seductress, what if she’s not a real woman?

In thinking about this today, I thought she might be something other than that as well. An image in a magazine, a picture on the internet, some ridiculous fantasy. Verse 19 says, “none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life.” Not in a final sense, but if you completely sell out to such a lifestyle and never look back, it’s going to take you down a road which doesn’t lead to life. Verse 16 is where the hope is: “So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.” If what?

Like I was mentioning earlier in the post and is so blatant in this Proverb, God is saying, “receive my words and treasure up my commandments”. Not just in the head, but in the heart. Seek it, search for it, listen to it, and God will respond.

One final thought. Verse 20 says, “So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous.” Looking at this in the context of the rest of the passage, God isn’t just saying, “Do things and live life the way I want you to ’cause I said so.” God saying so is a good reason, but it’s not some mundane action performed out of legalism. Through seeking and understanding the words of God, he’ll provide the heart it takes to live life for him.

Categories: Life, Religious

Psalm 56:13
For you have delivered my soul from death,
   yes, my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
   in the light of life.

Categories: Life, Poetry, Religious

I’ve been journaling more lately. I’ve quite enjoyed it do to the fact that I can write freely and openly without the restrictions that writing here can provide. Yes, you heard me, I write about all the things that matter most to me in my journal. If I ever catch you reading it, I will take you behind the toolshed and brandish a PVC pipe much to your worry.

One of the nicest elements of writing in my journal has been the time I spend with God in the mornings. As part of my quiet time of reading the Bible and praying to God, I’ve been doing what’s called “Active Listening”. Basically, I take a verse out of a passage of the Bible I’m reading or read recently OR a verse on some topic I’m studying in my life. After that, I analyze it and pick out some key ideas, instructions, and meanings from the verse. Then I pray about what the verse is saying and journal a prayer to God or write things God is saying to me through the verse.

Yesterday, for example, I looked at Philippians 1:27 ’cause I’d read it and wanted to spend some time thinking about it. It says:

“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel,”

Observations:
- manner of life should be worthy of the gospel
- stand in one spirit w/ one mind
- strive together for faith of the gospel

Then I proceed to write myself some questions such as “Do I live my life this way?” and a few ways my present life could use some improving.

This has been helpful for me recently. One of the huge topics in my life in the past few weeks has been trust in God and doing this “active listening” has helped.

“Trust” is always a huge issue. It’s an ever present element of the Christian life. It’s always possible to trust God more.

Verses Relating To Trust
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Hebrews 11:1
• I Thessalonians 5:16-18
• Psalm 139:23-24

Categories: Life, Religious
Tags: Bible, journal

Today included many things in three categories.

Category 1: Pre-Brunch
• Wake up to a country radio station
• Review some TMS verses
• read Philippians 1 (verse 29 says “For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, …” Life as a follower of God is difficult and includes suffering, but I will continue to trust in his promises.)
• shower (yay!)

Category 2: Brunch and Afterwards
• brunch (whee…)
• painting for an hour (only 1 window left to paint! 4 to scrape. So close! While I was painting, I listened to country radio. You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk, but you can’t take the honky-tonk out of the girl Yes, those are lyrics to a song. Now I know where Jenny’s floor sweatshirt’s came from. ;)

Category 3: SCRUM (If you were wondering what it stands for… don’t. I can’t even remember.)
• wallyball (volleyball on raquetball courts)
• “Chipotle”:http://www.chipotle.com/ (beware of the medium chille sauce)
• Grace Chapel for discipleship workshops, discussion, and prayer (I’ve heard these things before, but some content newly sunk in)
• The Mask of Zorro

Yesterday:
Remedy’s show rocked. They’ve got some new songs now that’re on their upcoming studio release (recorded in Canada, I hear). For the encore they did the song (anybody know the title?) with Phillip’s bass solo that lasts a couple minutes and then the whole band kicks in for a wild ride. I love the parts in it where they do synchronized jumps.

Other thoughts
I wish one breath could convey all the things I’d like to say. I’d love to pull out a magic marker and with one stroke portray the sky. A lot of things in my life are changing. Under the surface. It’s good times. And… gosh. We’ll see where it goes. I don’t know what my future holds, but I am not afraid for God is with me. (Isaiah 41:10)

Categories: Life, Religious
Tags: Bible, Navigators

Today and tonight simply have been spectacular.

Things God’s blessed me with:
• life
• joy
• amazing friendships
• hope
• wisdom (Bible, Holy Spirit, some manly influences in my life [Matt W., Phil, Chase, Ray, Dennis -- you guys rock], and MANY other people)
• peace
• a future

Tonight was the Navigator’s Halloween Par-tay. Prior to that was a one-hour Nav Nite with six different workshops, 20 minutes each, pick 3.

I picked Meditation, Sabbath, and Spiritual Warfare. A couple of Navigator staff from Africa lead the Meditation and Spiritual Warfare workshops. Both of these were interesting.

The Meditation workshop used an analogy about scripture I hadn’t thought about before: taking the scripture, reading it, defining words, inquiring, and looking at the content and the emphasis are part of finding a rough jewel and polishing it into a dazzling gem which reflects light and beauty.

Jenny lead the Sabbath workshop. She brought up a lot of good verses on finding rest in God, having a Sabbath day, and that it’s a gift. It’s something she’s been learning about lately and she did a good job of conveying it.

The Spiritual Warfare talk held my interest. The presence of demonic activity and demonic influences isn’t something given much credit in America, or is usually ignored. I found it interesting that some of what people dismiss as pscyhological problems could be a spiritual struggle. Nelson’s also going to email information and scripture about it to me.

After all of that, the Nav Halloween Par-Tay commenced. I got up there, paid, went in, and Jenny asked if I’d go get something to eat with her since she hadn’t eaten dinner. “Sure.” Jenny, a girl from Kauffman, and I went over to Amigos, got some food, and had good conversation.

Then back to the Par-Tay. Dancing, etc. Only one country-swing dance while I was there, but it was enjoyable. Lots of techno. Different. Jenny and Jake shared their testimonies and talked about how knowing God has changed their lives. They both did a good job.

Eventually I left and came home. Now I’m tired. I’ve had a good conversation with Mandy (my cousin) on IM(Instant Messenger) and that’s been nice.

I’ll be going to bed soon. G’night.

Costumes of Note:
• Jake – Scary Uncle Jake
• Jenny – hispanic dancer
• Tracy – woman in a Poodle skirt (I never realized a poodle image was actually supposed to be on the skirt.)
• Phil – 80s Army Man w/ short shorts
• Hatfield – William Wallace
• me – McDonalds employee or after-work McDonalds employee

Categories: Life, Religious
Tags: Jake, Jenny, McDonalds, Navigators, Phil, Tracy