Strolling The Street

I strolled The Street last night. I enjoyed it, but I didn’t find what I was looking for.

I finished seeing a movie last night, “40 Year Old Virgin,” — it’s disgusting, don’t see it — and wasn’t satisfied with my night so I headed down to The Street. I thought, being a Saturday night, the newly-returned college kids would be packing the place. They weren’t. Must’ve been the early-evening rain. I walked up and down The Street hoping not to get drunk and wash away my worries, but instead to see or talk about something real.

Several people asked me for change. This was real. They were cool about it and said “thank you anyway” even when I told them I didn’t carry cash.

“I take plastic,” said a man wearing a black mask and cape.
“Sorry dude, I can’t do that,” I replied while grinning back at him.
“I’m joking. Thank you anyway, man.”

He continued down the street still trying to find what he was looking for. I continued the opposite direction still trying to find what I was looking for.

I came to the end of the street across the road from the building I parked my car in. Instead of leaving, I sat down on some bricks built around some trees and flowers. Several drunk college students walked past — some beyond awareness of how child-like their actions were, but unaware because they simply hoped to find what they were looking for.

A man walked by while speaking on his cell phone. He kept talking and walking. What he was looking for wasn’t in front of him, but with another person in another place.

Couples walked by at intervals. Always walking, not always talking, but I don’t know what they were looking for.

I knew what I was really looking for that night. I came close in those brief seconds with the caped man seeking change. Turns out I’m seeking the same thing, but I didn’t find it either.

Oh My God, Oh My God, We’re All Going to Die

I had a scary moment last night. While driving home from work shortly after midnight, I stopped at a stoplight. It turned green so I proceeded to turn left. An SUV drove right in front of me heading the direction I came from at 40 to 50 mph while I was turning. Being the person I am, I honked and swore vociferously. I realized later that I’d come within five seconds of dying. If I’d been in the intersection when the SUV drove through (potentially DUI), it would have hurt or killed me. Not to mention my car. I don’t know how the world would get by without a red VW Beetle.

The other thing that bothers me about this whole incident is something I can’t remember. I can’t remember if the turn arrow was green. If it was green, then I can blame the other guy for almost whatever. If it was red, then I’m a damn idiot and almost died due to stupidity.

Either way, I’m not happy with it. Not at all.

Testing the Strength

The strength of my convictions, a la my recent post about Christian living, has been tested. I’ve fallen short. This shouldn’t be surprising. As Jesse pointed out in a recent email and has been doing more-or-less for the entirety of the time I’ve known him, that is the truth of the human condition. People fail.

Thus the necessity of grace, correct? Because nobody, even myself, can ever be perfect or all-loving or all-friendly or all-perfect or all-Mr.-Nice-Guy, we need grace. We need a God who can look at us and say, “You’re not perfect. I don’t expect you to be perfect. Jesus… he died so you didn’t have to be.”

I’m going to go live an imperfect life. I will live it today, tomorrow, and for every moment my body has breath. And looking at my death now, I can have confidence because I know perfection isn’t required of me. Pray for me in the moments I forget this.

Where the Tendrils Lead

I believe something is trying to grasp me — some truth I’ve been overlooking or ignoring for quite a while now. What truth, what belief, what thought has been reaching towards me, wrapping its long tendrils around my legs and reaching upward towards my heart?

Lately, I’ve felt like following God will lead to nothing but frustration and death if merely an obligation and a duty. I’ve also began to feel that Christianity has some serious problems. But before I get more into this, I’ll delve back into the pool and show you where the stream began.

The Tendrils of Truth

I believe something is trying to grasp me — some truth I’ve been overlooking or ignoring for quite a while now. I want to write about it and say the things I’m thinking, but alas I have no time for it now. I thought I’d mention it though. This will be updated.