Impatience hurts. The anger burns a whole through me. My agitation causes me to make suboptimal decisions which impact other people.

When it comes to questions of the heart — matters of love, patience becomes an even more difficult proposition.

Am I deceiving myself — are the emotions and the passion real? Or does my impatience perhaps trick me into wanting and believing in something that’s not there?

Self-deception is powerful and dangerous. I find myself struggling to make good decisions when I let myself get carried away and enflamed by emotions. How do I get back on track?

This runaway train will run over me.

Meh.

Ouch.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I highly recommend all three. Coldplay is melodic and soothing, Conor Oberst is angsty indie/alt-country passion, and Astronautalis has awesome beats and lyrical flow.

I’ve been practicing my guitar a lot lately. Songs I can (almost) play:
• Brandon Heath – Give Me Your Eyes
• The Proclaimers – 500 Miles
• Wreckless Eric – Whole Wide World

I caught onto Brandon Heath recently via Carolina who showed it to me on YouTube. The Proclaimers is an old favorite of mine I remember hearing and enjoying in sixth grade and subsequently hearing it played (an edited version) during Young Life in high school. “Whole Wide World” I first heard in the movie “Stranger Than Fiction” which is the first song Harold Crick learns to play on his guitar.

The next song I’d like to learn is Flight of the Conchords – The Humans are Dead. Unfortunately, I’m not sure this will be possible, as the humans will all be dead. (Plus, it takes two people to do it any kind of justice.) Watch below via YouTube:

Click here to view the embedded video.

My reasons for growing the beard in the first place included:
– look/feel older
– the experience of having a beard in my mid-twenties
– looking similar to old photos of my dad when he had a beard in the early 1980s
– seeing what it felt like to be Samson (shaggy!)

While I enjoyed having a beard for all of these reasons, I became hard-pressed by two primary reasons to make a change:

1. Summer comes soon. Long hair/beard in summer = hot, sweaty, yuck.

2. A woman asked me to cut it because she wanted to see what I looked like without a beard.

Results: “You look younger,” “you look like a different person,” “you look so much better,” and “you look great.”  I will not complain about these responses.  Photographic evidence below.

The Before Photo (upon awakening this morning)

The After Photo (upon shave and a haircut this afternoon)

• Fill Out Forms at the Bureau of Communication website — including, but not limited to, a “Declaration of Romantic Intent,” “Airing of Grievance,” and “Acknowledgment of Occasion.”
• Do you have introverts in your life? Learn about “Caring for Your Introvert” (The Atlantic).
• Learn 10 new words (from other languages) every day
• Sign up for Twitter and tell the world what you ate for breakfast (or, y’know, use it to communicate with people)
• Sell things on Craigslist or Amazon — or buy things, there are good deals to be had.
• Watch your TV. I wouldn’t recommend this though — you can learn a lot more about the world, the people in it — your families and your neighbors — if you turn it off, go outside, and talk to people.

Or watch this music video: Brandon Heath – Give Me Your Eyes – I would embed it here, but the label won’t let me =(

That, and there’s been a lot of good TV on.

Battlestar Galactica is over. I caught up and watched the last half of season 4. This show has some of the best writing I’ve ever seen in a television show.

Dollhouse and Castle are my favorites from the new season. I’m a Whedon fanboy, and I enjoy talented Whedon alumni. Seeing Summer Glau in Terminator: SCC, and Nathan Fillion in Castle has been fun.

I’m going to try to remain consistent in posting on this blog, but to be honest a lot of my “social” energy has been getting dumped into Twitter and Facebook these days. However, I do value my loyal blog readers and the thousands of random people who find it looking for my WordPress plugin, so I will continue to update here as well.

Where will I be four months from now?

I don’t know.

Today I named the emo bear on my t-shirt. His name is Shane. He weeps during sad songs and movies. Dr. Horrible made him sad. Now he’s watching an old Green Day music video – “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” Explosions kill people as he watches. He wonders when it will end.

I began making a list of goals for 2009. I am having a hard time with them. Constraints: economy, vacation time, fear, lack of fellow travelers.

Translation: I see human drama unfold around me, men and women’s lives crash together and separate again, and I wish I could feel the pleasure and the pain so long as I’m feeling more than alone.

Secondhand Serenade has the same flavor of music as Dashboard Confessional. A man, a guitar, and problems. I’ve been enjoying it. Fortunately, I haven’t been subjugated to any airing it may or may not have had on MTV, but it’s good. It’s catchy. It fits me.

Familiarity.