It’s been 260 days.

Motion City Soundtrack - L.G. FUAD:

…
I wanna know what it’s like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent
I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense.. yeah
Let me in, let me in to the club, cuz I wanna belong
And I need to get strong, and if memory serves
I’m addicted to words and they’re useless
…

Sometimes I still want to go out and get slammed. Stephen King describes his alcoholism well in his book “On Writing.”

I had forgotten the trick of being straight–and out of shame.

Hemingway and Fitzgerald didn’t drink because they were creative, alienated, or morally weak. They drank because it’s what alkies are wired up to do. Creative people probably do run a greater risk of alcoholism and addiction than those in some other jobs, but so what? We all look pretty much the same when we’re puking in the gutter.

He writes of a friend:

“How much do you drink?” the counselor asked.
My friend looked at the counselor with disbelief. “All of it,” he said, as if that should have been self evident.

I can relate. As so kindly pointed out by generations of alcoholics and their kin, alcoholism doesn’t end when you put the bottle down. Now I’ve got to learn to put down the pizza, the television, the HIMYM and Scrubs, the music, the movies, the books, the news.

Heck, while I’m at it maybe I ought to deny myself, take up my cross, and follow him.

Categories: Life, Lyrics, Religious, Writing
Tags: addiction, alcohol, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Motion City Soundtrack, Stephen King

Plates
A Poem by Erundur Anwamehtar
08/16/2007

I polish the plate and put it away
pile on the stack and push it back
its placid destiny set
no more memoirs of food to write tonight
the tableware beholds no more

Categories: Poetry
Tags: plates

The Animation Show: Mike Judge & Don Hertzfeldt Interview

For those of you who remember videos such as “Rejected” and “Ah L’amour” from the college years.

Animation Show - Ah L’amour

They feature a lot of interesting animated videos from various creators over on The Animation Show’s MyspaceTV channel. For instance, here’s one of them:
Animation Show - Bathtime in Clerkenwell

Enjoy!

Categories: Video
Tags: Don Hertzfeldt, Mike Judge, The Animation Show

Yesterday I experienced one of the most intense bursts of pain I’ve ever felt. I mean awful — it blinded me of all other emotions and senses and feelings for the duration of the moment. Pain controlled me.

I thought I might fall over and pass out. This would’ve been somewhat awkward. Nobody wants to be found passed out in a toilet stall in a restroom on the ground floor of a skyscraper while waiting for the work day to begin. At least not in the third week of work — I’m not a rock star in the building yet. (And I’m no swinging Senator.)

Fortunately, I kept my wits about me during the five dragging seconds and remained conscious.

I’ve since spent the last two days constantly barraging ever potential enemy in site with water. I’d try little white pills, but I’m not sure any of them would work. And I recently fired my therapist for being too stringent on the dosages, and have yet to find a suitable replacement. Who knew Walgreens doesn’t sell candy to just anybody?

The good news is the water seems to help. I saw the doctor today and he told me this: “yeah, that’s probably it, drink a lot of water. If you start writhing in pain and can’t take it anymore, come back to the hospital and we’ll scan you.”

Here’s to hoping water does the trick. Bottoms up!

Categories: Life
Tags: medical

I accomplished one of my major goals for the week and today is only Monday. I introduced myself to the cute girl at work. “Nice to meet you,” and then we both walked away.

I’m doing the Netflix thing. And the satellite TV thing. It’s probably a good thing I got my last paycheck today from the previous employer — ten days late, but who’s counting. (I am and I was pissed.)

So far I’ve watched a couple movies. “Before Sunset” “Before Sunrise” is 100% worth watching. It’s an excellent romantic film. The plot is simple (an American meets a French girl on the train and they hang out for the night), but portrayed excellently. It’s one of the better jobs I’ve seen of actors conveying emotion through body language.

Tonight I watched “Beautiful Girls.” Somehow I think Rosie O’Donnell was supposed to be one of these “Beautiful Girls.” If they’d scrubbed her role out of the movie, it would’ve been good. It’s not one of those movies you watch and feel satisfied and more alive after watching. You see it, get done watching, and think: “Yeah, that’s kinda how it goes.” People live, screw up, and get some sort of lesson out of it. This movie was just an example, and probably not the best one, but it was alright.

Going to bed by 10pm is kind of a drag. It makes me feel old. Then again, watching a movie wherein the main characters discuss love/marriage, and the perceived difficulty of finding love when approaching 30… well, it’s not exactly something I’ve ever wanted to be able to relate to other people about. And this will be what I’m thinking about while I try to fall asleep.

Or maybe just impossible spaceships and planets and aliens. I will hide in science fiction for at least a few minutes.

Categories: Books, Life, Movies
Tags: Beautiful Girls, Netflix