I’m sitting in the same chair, staring out a different window, and wishing I wasn’t here. The scenery has changed, but I haven’t.
Try this on: an alcoholic is not the same thing as an addict. An alcoholic is an addict who drinks alcohol. An alcoholic can give up alcohol, but it doesn’t mean they’re not an addict. The addiction begins to manifest itself differently. For instance, I sit in this chair and stair out the window while listening to various music (It’s Like Love, Jonathan Coulton, Mae) and checking Facebook too often. All I really want is to be out of my house having coffee or dinner and talking about things that matter.
Why sure, this awesome folk song about Tom Cruise “matters,” but it’s not the same as living.
(Buy from the Jonathan Coulton store)
Update: So I went out and had Qdoba for dinner, meandered through Barnes & Nobles primarily looking at graphic novels, and then went to the theatre and watched Stardust. The movie has me wishing I had a wall on the other side of town I could walk through and begin a star-chasing fairy tale.
Good observations about addiction. I don’t think that being dissatisfied with who you are and where you are at in life is necessarily a bad thing. The question is, what do you do with your sense of dissatisfaction? We can give up and resign ourselves to our current fate, accepting that there is little that we can do to change either ourselves or our current circumstances. On the other hand, we can try as best we can to live as well as we can right where we are, while simultaneously holding on to hope, believing that God has good things in store for us both in the temporal and ultimate future.
Hang in there.
Be ready for it . . . it’s coming up here in a sec. All right, we’re about there. Slow down . . . there it is . . . nooooooo . . . there it went. Yup, just missed the point.
Well, there’s dissatisfaction, but it’s more of a byproduct. When I sit around bored, yes, I’m dissatisfied with where I am, but the boredom is a result of my inaction.
From the update, you can see I got up and did something thus momentarily escaping the boundaries of the apartment. It worked out. But it doesn’t mean I won’t be back in the same place again three months from now thinking the same thoughts.