I feel Blue. Kinda like Weezer (The Blue Album).

“Oh, eee, ooo, I look just like Buddy Holly.”

I made it through most of the store and talked myself out of buying two different CDs - Project 86’s most recent and Weezer’s 1994 self-titled album (a.k.a. The Blue Album). Then dad said we needed music to listen to on the way home so I spent $15 to buy a ten year old CD.

“If you want to destroy my sweater / Hold this thread as I walk away.”

The good news is it’s a classic alternative rock record (uhoh, the kids are gonna start calling me old soon). By “classic,” I mean it spawned several hits during its day. Songs like “Buddy Holly,” “Say it Ain’t So,” and “Undone (The Sweater Song)” can still be heard occassionally on alternative rock stations around the United States. The benefit of this is it’s not a risky purchase and I already know I like it.

“You’ve cleaned up, found Jesus, things are good, or so I hear.”

And seriously, people, don’t I look like Buddy Holly some days?

Categories: Music

A customer comes in today and gets her film. I sell it to her. She says, “thank you.” Being in a tired, 6PM mindset, I nodded and said “yup.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘you’re welcome.’” I gaze at her for a couple seconds.

“Oh, okay. You’re welcome.”

The customer walks towards the exit of the store, turns around, comes back, and goes to “guest service” about ten feet away from where I am doing job. She stands there and talks to one of the guest-service women for a minute or two and then leaves. The guest-service employee comes over to me shortly after and says, “Well, you just got your first complaint.”

Apparently I have “the personality of a rock” and am not a very nice guy. Honestly, when I first heard this my first reaction was to laugh and wish I had somebody around I could tell about it. My thoughts: “Ha! What kind of person would say something like that! Ha ha ha! I had somebody say _that_ about me! That’s ridiculous!”

I really would like to see her do my job and still be saying thank you when the day and the week winds down to one final hour and the only thought is, “it’ll be the weekend soon.”

As I think about it more, though, it’s not quite so easy to ignore. It’s easy to pretend comments aren’t upsetting or that they’re laughable. However, as much as people deny it, words hurt. Coming from somebody I don’t know and, now, have little respect for, they factor into my life about zero percent (other than a bit of ponderance today and a rant or two).

I don’t respect her because she wouldn’t say it to my face. Instead she chose to complain about my PERSONALITY to SOMEBODY ELSE who CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT and DOESN’T KNOW ME!

I did my job.

I’d be polite to every customer if I could and I do my best, but there is a point which cannot be passed without turning into a fake, shallow semblance of a human being. If a customer appears to be lying or if they get snappy or annoying, I do my job and I try to give them what they want, but I will not cater to their every whim and desire as that is not my function in life nor is it usually possible nor do I always care.

I said “You’re welcome.” Sure, emotion lacked considerably and sincerity amounted to zero, but can you expect joyful sincerity when requesting such a thing from a random “photo technician” who doesn’t know you? Did she even want a sincere answer?

Now, I will hold fast, I will build another wall within my fragile being to protect myself from vicious customers who hate tired, impolite photo-technicians. My wall will protect me from her sticks and stones, and years from now when I wonder, “why won’t I let anybody know the real me?” I’ll look back to this day and remember, “Oh, it’s because some random woman was a complete _rambling, inconsiderate phrase I wouldn’t dare post._

And then I’ll wonder, “what kind of fortress does she live in?”

Categories: Life